Lol I have always wanted to say that......Its been over a year and i have decided to pick up where i left off, well not really.
New year, new Job, old me.
I should write more this is a mental note to me. New approach i will write everything that comes to my head that means a whole lot of mumbo jumbo.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Destiny
As i gaze into the void many questions cross my mind.Do we understand how life works? Has any one person figured this out? Or is the equation different for everyone hence no definite answer awaits?
Decisions are made everyday that mould each persons life, from simple one of should I wear the yellow top? To should I quit my job? Each day we make that choice bringing us closer to our destiny. The question is how many wrong choices will you make before you make the right one? If the wrong choices lead you to your destiny maybe they are no longer wrong but right.
Decisions are made everyday that mould each persons life, from simple one of should I wear the yellow top? To should I quit my job? Each day we make that choice bringing us closer to our destiny. The question is how many wrong choices will you make before you make the right one? If the wrong choices lead you to your destiny maybe they are no longer wrong but right.
Once you give your all there is so much more to loose probably the laws of physics come into play. Over and over again I tell myself I shall no longer give my all, 50% of me for 50% for you. Just a safe guard to protect myself, yet that 50% still gets hurt and comes back as 25%. There is only so much that can be given until we seize to exist until we are left with 10% of our former selves, until we become cold and calculated, until the need for companionship is no longer there, until the thirst for material satisfaction supersedes the need for human interaction. It is then and only then do we realise that we have played and lost the game of life for there is no greater satisfaction than having a lifelong companion. To share all that you have acquired for the human soul is always searching never satisfied yearning for more. Me, I'm still searching.
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
New me
Its been almost two weeks since giving up the ex it was hard in the beginning and there was a day where i thought if i can make it through then my addiction may have been curbed. i did so yippee
Honestly i had help along the way...against all prior convictions i joined a dating website yes you heard me right a dating website. Now i thought its going to be a bunch of old men behind computers but then i thought if im doing it there must be some like minded people out there who are doing it as well. I was right!! i've started talking to a few people and realizing what i've been missing connecting with someone on a deeper level being able to hold a conversation without the interruptions of the world. One guy in particular has caught me off guard we talk everyday and each day i find something new that attracts me to him, the only problem is distance we are so far apart yet so close.
The question is if he is my soul mate the one person that has the key to my heart do i sacrifice everything? do i believe in soul mates? if yes does that mean we all only have one soul mate? Too many things to think about just yet but im taking it slow letting his words play the drums on my heart for i know life is not always perfect but true love lasts forever....what i know for sure is i am going to find out where my happiness lays and im going to lay right next to it....with all the treasures in this world being in love and loved back supersedes all precious jewels and material goods.
Honestly i had help along the way...against all prior convictions i joined a dating website yes you heard me right a dating website. Now i thought its going to be a bunch of old men behind computers but then i thought if im doing it there must be some like minded people out there who are doing it as well. I was right!! i've started talking to a few people and realizing what i've been missing connecting with someone on a deeper level being able to hold a conversation without the interruptions of the world. One guy in particular has caught me off guard we talk everyday and each day i find something new that attracts me to him, the only problem is distance we are so far apart yet so close.
The question is if he is my soul mate the one person that has the key to my heart do i sacrifice everything? do i believe in soul mates? if yes does that mean we all only have one soul mate? Too many things to think about just yet but im taking it slow letting his words play the drums on my heart for i know life is not always perfect but true love lasts forever....what i know for sure is i am going to find out where my happiness lays and im going to lay right next to it....with all the treasures in this world being in love and loved back supersedes all precious jewels and material goods.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
25 Things
Its day 3 im still on track.....almost everyone on facebook has jumped on the 25 random things about me wagon so ive decided to join in , however instead of writing where people know me i think i can be more honest here:
1. I absolutely detest any form of cooked fruit. i just cant get my head around the idea....anything with a hint of cooked fruit drives me insane....worst desert known to me is apple pie...how can u cook apples ewww or pineapple on pizza..wtf?
2. i started reading newspapers when i was 6 years old broad sheets and all....now i dont read them at all.
3. i get very emotional when watching sad films and i always cry when someone dies in a movie.
4. i am genuinely not scared to die...i think ive had a pretty fulfilled life.
5.i hate the sight of spit...people spitting is the worse thing you could show me
6. a large part of me believes in capital punishment
7. i get bored of things very easily hence i always start things and never finish.
8. i actually dont think i will ever stop loving my ex...(aka Pancakes) . This really bothers me as i think i will never move on 100%
9. i think about my mother everyday, im scared that i will forget about her because shes not around anymore
10. i have already thought about the names for my children and im constantly changing them.
11. i miss my best friend and actually sometimes regret not talking to her anymore..i sometimes wonder if she misses me too.
12. i had so much fun in university it was sorrel at times i believed i was in a movie it prepared me for real life.
13. im the youngest of my mothers children yet i act like im the oldest , hell sometimes i actually believe im the oldest.
14. now that ive started writing 25 things its really hard.
15. i believe i have the bestest Friends anyone could wish for and there are really no more openings lol.....they really are the family God let me choose
16. i have come to the conclusion i attract extreme weirdo's scary people that stalk you via facebook/hi5 and its really worrying.
17. i have a bone that u can feel on my nose everyone says i that makes me Caucasian, it does feel weird though
18. i don't chew gum.....haven't done since 2000...
19. i gave up chicken for 5 years it was wired at first but then i got used to it..
20. i love to give people names...like ren and stimpy, beavis and butthead , pinky and the brain, C1 and C2....lol
21. im very strong willed yet i can convince myself into anything.....i will try alot of things at least once
22. i find guys who take pictures with bottles of alcohol uncouth same goes for guys who wear sunglasses 1. indoors 2.in the night they are not called nightglasses or indoor glasses for a reason they are to protect your eyes from the sun and thats it....even celebrities that do it annoy me i wonder if diddy starts wearing ski outfits in the summer would these people do the same?
23. i can be really friendly and very bitchy all in the same breath it really depends on whether i like u as a person..
24. i have 5 nephews and 2 nieces and 3 godchildren......i would love some more hint hint
25. i trust no one 100% Dr House has made me see everybody lies.......
if i decide to publish this on facebook i know for a fact C1 and C2 will have something to say............lol
1. I absolutely detest any form of cooked fruit. i just cant get my head around the idea....anything with a hint of cooked fruit drives me insane....worst desert known to me is apple pie...how can u cook apples ewww or pineapple on pizza..wtf?
2. i started reading newspapers when i was 6 years old broad sheets and all....now i dont read them at all.
3. i get very emotional when watching sad films and i always cry when someone dies in a movie.
4. i am genuinely not scared to die...i think ive had a pretty fulfilled life.
5.i hate the sight of spit...people spitting is the worse thing you could show me
6. a large part of me believes in capital punishment
7. i get bored of things very easily hence i always start things and never finish.
8. i actually dont think i will ever stop loving my ex...(aka Pancakes) . This really bothers me as i think i will never move on 100%
9. i think about my mother everyday, im scared that i will forget about her because shes not around anymore
10. i have already thought about the names for my children and im constantly changing them.
11. i miss my best friend and actually sometimes regret not talking to her anymore..i sometimes wonder if she misses me too.
12. i had so much fun in university it was sorrel at times i believed i was in a movie it prepared me for real life.
13. im the youngest of my mothers children yet i act like im the oldest , hell sometimes i actually believe im the oldest.
14. now that ive started writing 25 things its really hard.
15. i believe i have the bestest Friends anyone could wish for and there are really no more openings lol.....they really are the family God let me choose
16. i have come to the conclusion i attract extreme weirdo's scary people that stalk you via facebook/hi5 and its really worrying.
17. i have a bone that u can feel on my nose everyone says i that makes me Caucasian, it does feel weird though
18. i don't chew gum.....haven't done since 2000...
19. i gave up chicken for 5 years it was wired at first but then i got used to it..
20. i love to give people names...like ren and stimpy, beavis and butthead , pinky and the brain, C1 and C2....lol
21. im very strong willed yet i can convince myself into anything.....i will try alot of things at least once
22. i find guys who take pictures with bottles of alcohol uncouth same goes for guys who wear sunglasses 1. indoors 2.in the night they are not called nightglasses or indoor glasses for a reason they are to protect your eyes from the sun and thats it....even celebrities that do it annoy me i wonder if diddy starts wearing ski outfits in the summer would these people do the same?
23. i can be really friendly and very bitchy all in the same breath it really depends on whether i like u as a person..
24. i have 5 nephews and 2 nieces and 3 godchildren......i would love some more hint hint
25. i trust no one 100% Dr House has made me see everybody lies.......
if i decide to publish this on facebook i know for a fact C1 and C2 will have something to say............lol
Monday, 23 February 2009
Giving up the EX for Lent.....
its day 2 of the rest of my life, i was under the illusion that being friends with my ex will be good....BAD IDEA..there are enough people in the world to be friends with my/your ex does not need to be one of them. i caught myself in an argument and had to take a step back to ask myself-what am i really arguing over? if i don't care why is it bothering me? it took a wise person to knock some sense into me for me to realize i was hanging onto something that wasn't there. Clearly believing friendship was the answer.
one thing we need to realize as women is that we cannot separate emotions from reality no matter how much we try. moving on is a pigment of our imagination, we only truly move on when we can focus our love on someone or something else until that time we cling unto the hope of our ex's "seeing the light" realizing u were the one he wanted all along..please..such crap is relegated to the movies because this only happens in an alternate universe where pigs fly , the sea has turned to chocolate and everyone has a beach body and model looks.
so my medication is- no communication with said ex for 2-3 months or until I'm in my next relationship which ever comes sooner. i ve figured if i haven't spoken to you for at least 60 days then i honestly don't really need to speak with you.lets see how it goes............
one thing we need to realize as women is that we cannot separate emotions from reality no matter how much we try. moving on is a pigment of our imagination, we only truly move on when we can focus our love on someone or something else until that time we cling unto the hope of our ex's "seeing the light" realizing u were the one he wanted all along..please..such crap is relegated to the movies because this only happens in an alternate universe where pigs fly , the sea has turned to chocolate and everyone has a beach body and model looks.
so my medication is- no communication with said ex for 2-3 months or until I'm in my next relationship which ever comes sooner. i ve figured if i haven't spoken to you for at least 60 days then i honestly don't really need to speak with you.lets see how it goes............
Monday, 9 February 2009
Thursday, 5 February 2009
How to Lie........
okay so i think im getting the hang of things or maybe not...i dont really know...day 2 in the blog world and its really weird feels like a diary i left open for everyone to read.
After a long day of revelations all via email im thinking wow pretty interesting day but im still left with the thought why lie about something that will not does not benefit you in anyway....im no saint we have all told lies...greatest statement i live by-everybody lies even you(yes you stop looking around like there is a third person) so if you are going to lie make sure its a lie worthwhile, you know if caught it wouldn't be the act of the lie that gets you in trouble but the actual lie....
A few tips to help with those lies:
1. when lying less is always more..keep it simple to much explanation gets you caught out..be brief.
2.add a little truth to the lie eg... i wasn't home i went into town......( when you really went to see that other guy) makes it easier when asked questions
3. women if all else fails say you went shopping, we love to shop women often go shopping for hours come back and say" i couldn't find anything i liked"..(women lie so much better than men FACT)
4. Believe the lie yourself , if you dont believe it how will the person you're lying to?
5. never back down find your lie and stick to it....changing stories just gets you caught......
ps. not that i advocate lying however these rules work viceversa to catch a lie to so......
After a long day of revelations all via email im thinking wow pretty interesting day but im still left with the thought why lie about something that will not does not benefit you in anyway....im no saint we have all told lies...greatest statement i live by-everybody lies even you(yes you stop looking around like there is a third person) so if you are going to lie make sure its a lie worthwhile, you know if caught it wouldn't be the act of the lie that gets you in trouble but the actual lie....
A few tips to help with those lies:
1. when lying less is always more..keep it simple to much explanation gets you caught out..be brief.
2.add a little truth to the lie eg... i wasn't home i went into town......( when you really went to see that other guy) makes it easier when asked questions
3. women if all else fails say you went shopping, we love to shop women often go shopping for hours come back and say" i couldn't find anything i liked"..(women lie so much better than men FACT)
4. Believe the lie yourself , if you dont believe it how will the person you're lying to?
5. never back down find your lie and stick to it....changing stories just gets you caught......
ps. not that i advocate lying however these rules work viceversa to catch a lie to so......
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